Daylight saving time must be coming soon

As I woke up this morning the only thing I could think of was when exactly does daylight saving time begin? I know it used to fall on the first weekend of April because there was one year when we stayed up drinking all night so we would be awake for a super-early round of disc golf bright and early on a somewhat warm Sunday morning but we ended up going to breakfast instead. All told, the plan was obviously flawed but we at least made the effort to follow through with it.

But a few years ago the dates for the beginning and end of daylight saving time were adjusted. It started a few weeks earlier -- moving the time change into March, and ended a week later so finally Halloween would be a nighttime event like it was meant to be.

The amount of sunlight this morning, though, made me think that daylight saving time had to be near. Hell, I even heard a few birds chirping. Maybe that's because we've experienced virtually no winter this year here in Minnesota or maybe it's because it is legitimately sunny when I wake up now but I'm looking forward to the impending time change because, for some reason, I actually prefer getting ready for my day when it is still dark outside. Maybe it's the inner creeper in me or maybe it's just less jarring to wake up to darkness and let the light come on slowly via the rising sun.

Anyhow, daylight saving time has to be coming soon. Maybe it's St. Patrick's Day weekend. I'll find out soon enough because I bet it will be the top news story on the TV as s ome dopey anchor jokes about springing forward or being late for everything on the following day. Dopes.

The idiocy of Minnesota's schools

My day began in the small Minnesota River Valley city of LeSueur. Of course I had to drive there to begin with which sucked but driving back to my office in the metro sucked much more than I can even begin to describe here.

I busied myself, trapped behind a three-wide MNDot snowplow assault on U.S. Highway 169 for 20+ miles, by endlessly scanning through the FM radio dial. Stopping at one point, I heard a Mankato FM station (Hot 96.7) rattling off a few school closings. I was on the road heading back to my office between 9 and 10 AM and the majority of these school early releases being aired were before noon.

Assuming that most schools begin between 8 and 9 AM, this boils down to a nice half-day for kids in many parts of outstate Minnesota. The confusing part was that more than a few of these early closings were around 9:30 AM! Yeah, that means that after the wheels on the bus went 'round and 'round on roads that were already fairly shitty, they have to turn around 90 minutes later and slip and slide down barely visible country roads to take the little brats back home.

What the hell changed so much in a mere 90 minutes to change the mind of school administrators in these mainly small towns? Did the near-whiteout conditions become a total whiteout? Did they actually listen to a weather forecast and hear the part about another 6 or so inches of snow falling throughout the day complete with some wind to further fuck up the already sketchy situation?

The point is that these schools get at least some money for bringing the kids in to the buildings for even a partial day. And some money for the day is better than none. But isn't the safety of kids, which these school are entrusted with, the highest priority? Shouldn't safety trump money any day of the week? What happens when someone makes a bad call and sends the kids home too late and a bus rolls over on an icy, unplowed road and all 38 kids die? Wouldn't it have been a better call to keep the kids home if the weather already sucked before sunrise and was predicted to keep getting worse as the day dragged on? And, really, how many schools a mere one county south of the Twin Cities will actually stick it out and keep the kids in class for a full day?

But all of the Winter weather makes for interesting photos at MinnPics. Check out the stunning photos of Minnesota today!

That popping sound

If you haven't heard, it's cold here in Minnesota. It's so cold that my car, after not driving it for two days, barely started and it has a nearly new battery in it. But more disturbing than that is what the cold weather is doing to my house.

No, the frost on the inside of the windows isn't anything to worry about. That's par for the course in a 110 year-old house. It's the loud popping sounds we've been hearing. In the last two days I've heard no less than half a dozen frighteningly loud pops. It sounds like someone is in my attic firing off shotgun shells. I even joked today that it's only a matter of time until part of the roof falls in on us and finally puts us out of our misery.

But I guess it really isn't a joking matter. The facts are as follows: there is at least a foot of, at one time, heavy and wet snow stuck to every inch of my roof. My gutters suck (I have those joke-like almost Lego snap-together pieces of shit) and are likely full of ice which will only back further up my roof when the snow melts in early June. The neighbors have laboriously drug roof rakes across their snow-laden roofs but I'm one to let nature take its course. With my fingers crossed I can say that I haven't had any water issues thus far with my roof and I have easy access to it from my spacious attic so I hope I'm safe.

But if I am woke up by another shotgun-like pop I'll do something about it. Probably buy a pair of ear plugs.

If you make and keep only one resolution in 2010, resolve to visit MinnPics daily and bask in the glory of fabulous photos from all over Minnesota.

Christmas cancelled due to snowmageddon

Click to make the snowfall map bigger but the snowphoon, snowmageddon, jesusblizzard, snownami, snownado, hohosnow or whatever else people are tagging it as on Twitter is apparently coming just in time to fuck up your Christmas plans from Wisconsin west through the Dakotas. Of particular interest is Minnesota because that's where I live and even though I have to travel the whopping sum of ten miles on Christmas day I still have to make it in to my office tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and do what amounts to a ton of shopping - even if the Target in Brainerd is out of milk.

Supposedly I'll be shoveling 15-20 inches out here in the southwest Twin Cities but, like every other forecasted storm, I'll believe it when I'm shoveling my driveway and die of a massive heart attack from heaving piles of heavy, wet snow over the already too-tall piles lining my driveway and sidewalks.

Call it stubbornness but I have no desire to own a snowblower. Those things are like the anti-snow - a lot like owning a snowmobile and unlike a snowblower, my snow shovel has never had any issues starting in cold weather. Owning a snowblower pretty much insures that it won't snow and while for plenty that would be pretty awesome I like to see snow falling. Hey, if it's going to be ass-freezing cold it might as well snow to complete the winter experience because it is Minnesota after all.

So when you're housebound for the next few days under a thick blanket of snow, check out the year-end retrospective at MinnPics. The best of the best of 2009 in photographs.

Shopping and the weather in Minnesota

Sadly, my weekend plans involve shopping at some point. And by shopping, I mean sitting in the car while my old lady meanders through a variety of stores that hold absolutely no interest to yours truly. I don't mind shopping - if I'm by myself but if it's my old lady stopping every twelve feet to him and haw over something that's the polar opposite of what we set out to purchase - then we have a problem.

As of this past week, the weather, too, threw a bit of a wrench in to the relative ease of shopping. It's to be expected, each year the sudden change (read: snow) in the weather catches us off guard. I was hoping to push through to late January with a snowless winter so I wouldn't have to buy new tires for the car I inherited from my old lady. That didn't pan out with the somewhat unexpected showfall that blanketed the state earlier this week. With that came cold weather. Weather cold enough that stepping outside and trudging through a packed parking lot while dodging inconsiderate assholes who can't even be troubled to crane their necks backward before backing out of their parking spot at Mach 5 speed is a pain to say the least.

Factor in me pushing a stroller complete with a little girl who's still screaming because she is paying me back for strapping her in to her car seat through those earlier-mentioned parking lots which I forgot to mention are half-plowed at best and you can see why I have opted more and more to, like my dad, sit in the car while either waiting impatiently and scanning the radio dial or napping. More and more in this area I am turning in to my dad - bushy gray sideburns and bi-focals can't be far off now.

But what really chaps my ass is the fact that the closest reprieve from this fabulous, toe-numbing weather is about four months off. Throw in the forecast that I noticed for Saturday and you have a recipe rife for my head blowing completely off. See that shit?!? A LOW of 15 degrees - not entirely intolerable as I'm beginning to adjust to having permanently cold feet but that precipitation - a WINTRY MIX. How is that even possible? It's going to be a whopping fifteen degrees. That's an entire 17 degrees below freezing. A wintry mix? What? That's the kind of crap that makes me want to move to either Arizona or Canada. On one hand, you'd never have to deal with that crap - on the other hand the drivers in Canadia are so used to it that it wouldn't even phase them. But in the end I'll stick it out because I really don't plan on pushing a stroller through an asshole-filled parking lot anytime soon and with my new tires getting to work suddenly got a bit easier.

Now if only we can dodge that chance of a wintry mix on Saturday night. Oh, did I mention that it's a whoppingly-huge 20% chance? Which means that there's an 80% chance it WON'T happen? Why even mention it? Hell, on any given day there's a 20% chance I'll accidentally put on my old lady's panties while getting dressed but I don't post that prediction on a website - well until now.

Rather than complain about the weather constantly, I also, at time, revel in it. Check out the latest photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.

The art of winter driving

Face it - winter driving isn't easy. Especially if you're a Minnesotan. The crippling fear. The clenched white knuckles. The tense arms straining to hold the wheel steady. The soiled underwear from even the slightest unpredicted movement of your car as snow flakes wander aimlessly across the highway. The headache from seeing an endless stream of brake lights. It makes for a universally shitty day.

But why does it make for such a craptastic day? Why do even a few flurries turn us all into crippled invalids unable to drive even half of the speed limit?

It all boils down to varying levels of stupidity. There is the stupid driver creeping along at 25 miles per hour on the freeway. Then there's the stupid driver screaming like a bullet at 70 miles per hour on a two lane county road. There has to be some sort of happy medium between those two extremes. If not, I suppose that there's always the possibility that one (or both) will receive the Darwin Award.

But now that the snow seems to have ended outside my window, we've been given a reprieve. But we all know that there's a day coming - a perfect storm - when it will be snowing at 3 PM and just keep on snowing through the afternoon rush hour - making it last until 8 PM. It's coming and we all know it. I only hope that those unskilled drivers prepare. I hope that the stupid drivers up their intelligence. I hope that I get my front tires replaced.

I also hope that you'll check out MinnPics. A home for all things photographic about Minnesota that likes when you check it out.

The sun finally felt warm

On Monday I grilled. On our perfect 67 degree Monday, I grilled. The last time my gas grill saw the light of day was late October. Since that time it had been stored away in front of the lawnmower and next to the smoker in the utility shed attached to the garage. It's been a long 4 1/2 months. It seemed longer but after buying a huge family size package of ground beef (what size family needs 6 lbs.?) and knowing that Monday's weather was going to be the kind of early spring warmth that gives teenage boys erections in anticipation of swimsuit season, I saved one pound of ground chuck for the upcoming glorious Monday afternoon.

After speeding home, my nipples tingling in anticipation of the grand event, I pulled the grill from the garage and put it in its proper place on the patio and lit that bad boy.



Welcome to flavor country. These 1/2 lb. beauties that look like a Wendy's burger on steroids borrowed from Barry Bonds were nothing short of delicious. Grilled hamburgers, one of the many summertime treats I've missed. Welcome back spring, welcome back!

Spring is just around the corner for MinnPics as well. Check back frequently to see the seasons change in Minnesota.

Wow, it's snowing in MInnesota, everyone panic

Why in the holy hell do Minnesotans rustle themselves up into shear panic when snow starts magically falling from the sky. You'd swear that God himself were shitting cement blocks on us and that hunkering down in the basement was your only safe course of action. Alas, it's just snow.

But then there's the media, as MPR's Bob Collins pointed out, whipping everyone - not just in Minnesota but in the entire country - in to a frenzy. It's a bit of a mystery why The Weather Channel would have a live reporter in St. Paul chronicling what he must view as the end of the world but to the rest of the country let me just say that it is February and this is Minnesota. The temperature is below freezing once again and liquid precipitation turns to a solid state when that happens and the result is SNOW.

Now snow in Minnesota is a rather rare occurence. We only receive 4-5 feet of snow during an average winter. It sucks to clear from driveways, sidewalks, streets, road and even roofs but we're used to it because, well, we get 4-5 feet of snow each year.

Never, though, will I figure out why a typical late-winter snow storm in Minnesota packing - gasp - snow coupled with wind would warrant wall to wall news coverage.

One thing is sure, if I lose sight of the pine tree three feet outside my office window we're all screwed but until then I think we'll be safe. Slow down when driving because it's better to arrive a little bit late than a little bit dead.

Will MinnPics showcase the aftermath of The Storm? You'll just have to check it out to be sure.