Gopher hockey, Vikings stadium and Steve Martin coming to Duluth

Puck bounced Gophers' way this time

The puck took a crazy bounce off the back wall and popped right out front to North Dakota's Danny Kristo. It must have hit a stanchion or something because it really took a screwy carom that caught everyone by surprise.

And in that brief second the beginning of a great collective yelp could be detected. It was part anticipation, part despair. When Kristo flicked the puck past Gopher goalie Kent Patterson, it became a full-fledged roar.



Vikings stadium proposal isn't for the "people"

Within months of purchasing the Minnesota Vikings for $250 million in July 1998, Texas billionaire Red McCombs was angling for a new stadium to replace the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome.

Never mind that the 16-year-old indoor structure had been built at the behest of the Vikings, that the team had a lease in place that obligated them to remain at the Dome for another 13 seasons, and that rookie sensation Randy Moss was leading the Vikings to a near perfect 15-1 record that brought them within a missed field goal of their first Super Bowl appearance in 22 years.


'Pink slime' maker suspends some plant operations

The company that makes "pink slime" suspended operations today at three of four plants where the beef ingredient is made, saying officials would work to address recent public concern about the product.


Steve Martin's bluegrass band to perform at Bayfront

Steve Martin & the Steep Canyon Rangers will perform at Bayfront Festival Park in August as part a two-day festival, Secret Service Entertainment announced on Monday.

The longtime comedian’s bluegrass band headlines the show on Aug. 5 that includes Pert Near Sandstone and 4ontheFloor. Saturday headliner is TBA. The gates open at 1 p.m. and is an all ages show.


13-Year-Old in Custody After Death of Osage Woman

A 13-year-old male has been taken into custody by the Mitchell County Sheriff's Office after the death of a Osage Woman.

37-year-old Gretchen Crooks died Saturday as a result of multiple gunshot wounds. The manner of death has been ruled a homicide.

Porn stars, Gophers in NYC and more in Minnesota news today

Tartan student can take a porn star (or two) out, but not to prom

Mike Stone plans to make his first prom a memorable one - with a Los Angeles porn star as his date.

Stone, of Oakdale, created Internet buzz this week after two women with triple-X websites agreed to go with him to the May 12 Tartan High School prom.


NIT win over Middle Tennessee earns Gophers trip to New York

Times Square, here come the Gophers.

After another dismal ending to the regular season, bogged down by a stretch of six straight losses at one point, the University of Minnesota basketball team seemed to be going nowhere fast. But the players knew they had a run in them - and it came to fruition in the National Invitation Tournament.


Vikings' Chris Kluwe lauds NFL, rips Saints, curses 'idiocy' of blaming 'snitch'

Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, not always the biggest supporter of NFL rulings, is backing Commissioner Roger Goodell on the punishments handed out for the New Orleans Saints' bounties.

Goodell announced Wednesday, March 21, that Saints coach Sean Payton was suspended for a season and former New Orleans defensive coordinator Gregg Williams was banned indefinitely for the team's practice of offering money to target opposing players. Among the targets was Vikings quarterback Brett Favre in the 2009 season's NFC championship game, during which Favre injured his ankle.


New office furniture for 10 Duluth city workers: $90,000

Duluth’s city administrators are looking for approval to spend more than $90,000 on new office furniture for about 10 city employees — a plan drawing fire from some members of the City Council.


"Pink slime" no longer sold at Eden Prairie-based Supervalu family of stores

​Like Jamie Oliver, the Anoka-Hennepin county school district, and any character in The Real Ghostbusters, we've been following the trail of slime, specifically "pink slime," or ammonia-exposed beef filler that federal authorities still attest meets food safety standards, which has been making its way through both local and national news. Thankfully, it seems like its path of destruction is gradually slowing down, and one Minnesota grocery chain has a large part in that effort.

New radio stations - thoughts on 96.3 KTWIN and Buz'n 102.9

So far, 2012 has been a year of change. Locally speaking the Twin Cities have two new radio stations. But when I say new, that doesn't mean shit when it comes to radio stations because everything has already been done. That is painfully obvious when it comes to Buz'n 102.9. It's a horrible nickname for the new CBS-owned country music station which replaced the equally horrible Lite-FM on Christmas day. I guess it's all about choice for the country music fans in the cities but now with two big country stations to choose from it seems like people being able to choose from two Walmart stores. They both offer the same crap, the only differences being the employees and location. Maybe one Walmart has a more pleasant person working the deli counter so you choose that one but in the end you can get the same offerings either place so maybe you shop both of them. That's how exciting it is having two country station in the Twin Cities.

The second new radio offering is actually different. Gone is 96.3 Now (formerly hip-hop/R&B as B96) and their slightly more danceable mix of KDWB music and in its place is 96.3 K-TWIN. I first checked out the K-TWIN stream as I did some web design work Sunday evening and was intrigued. The station definitely has a bit of a rock and alternative lean to it but tends to lose me when they throw in an 80s track from Bon Jovi. K-TWIN definitely seems to favor artists like Adele, Kings of Leon and Foster the People while I've also heard Lily Allen, Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers more than a few times.

Today (Wednesday) is the first day with live talent on 96.3 K-TWIN and I have been pleasantly surprised with the new morning show featuring KARE-11's Eric Perkins and Tony Fly with the future addition of Danni Starr. Fly and Starr, of course, were both on the previous incarnations of 96.3 and come with that baggage of a more "urban" lean and I've never been a fan of Tony Fly's performance on 96.3. He was terrible in trying to hold down a morning show when it was B96 and even worse in afternoons when the station became 96.3 Now. I'm not sure it was his grating voice or the schtick he tried to pass off.

Perkins, though, feels genuine right off the bat in his first day as a morning drive personality. Maybe it's because he's a personality people can relate to from his current gig on KARE-11 or maybe it's because Fly and Perkins actually work together well on the radio. I'm not sure when their morning show acually ends but they did recycle the two big interviews (Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and St. Paul mayor Chris Coleman) from earlier in the morning in the 9 o'clock hour which doesn't bode well for the first day. Go big right out of the gate, don't mail it in, guys.

Another thing I'm curious about is the involvement if Rick Kupchella's BringMeTheNews.com. Kupchella was in the studio with Fly and Perkins this morning, BMTN provides the twice an hour news segments during the 96.3 K-TWIN morning show and Eric Perkins is also employed by BMTN as a sports reporter. I smell some sort of deeper involvement beyond the purchasing of BMTN newscasts.

Overall, 96.3 KTWN-FM needs a little polishing (get your website up and running) but it should be able to carve out a niche as it refines its music format somewhat. It's different enough from Cities 97 (because it's actually energetic) and features the more upbeat tracks and artists from 89.3 The Current and it avoids the majority of the music played on KS95 and has, to this point, actually managed to hold true to its statement of playing music not found on the majority of stations in the Twin Cities. Add in Blink-182 playing as I finish writing this and I'll keep listening. 96.3 K-TWIN has the familiar music for me and 89.3 The Current covers the new music. Hopefully they can co-exist.

The Fox News got hacked video

So, um, what kind of viral marketing is this and what movie is it for?



The commenters on YouTube are getting all political over this two-minute video but there are certain clues that are a tip-off that it's a viral video attempt for some sort of movie. It doesn't even deserve this much attention except for its high quality. Not to mention that the YouTube user -- "hiropro999" -- has posted just one video but supposedly has a second video in the works describing how he or she pulled of the supposed Fox News ticker.

As with anything of this nature, I'll believe it's a real video if the footage was captured by someone else, if a still photo surfaced and was vetted and published by a legitimate news source. Until then I'll tag it as unlikely to be legitimate.

Things we've learned from the Obama birther crap

U.S. president Barack Obama, after weeks of watching the cream of the idiot crop in America claim that he was not an American citizen, released his long-form birth certificate today revealing that he was, in fact, born in Honolulu, Hawaii after it became a state.

But did that shut up the loudest of the birthers? Of course not. This episode which, for whatever reason, was most recently helmed by Donald Trump. While he first claimed he wanted proof that Obama was born in America, he's changed his tune today to say that he wanted Obama to release his birth certificate to silence the birthers.

"I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully, getting rid of this issue," Trump says to reporters in New Hampshire. "Now we have to look at it, we have to see is it really, is it proper, what's on it, but I hope it checks out beautifully. I am really proud, I am really honored ... I'm taking great credit."

Either way we've learned yet again that Donald Trump is an unabashed attention whore who will align himself to which ever stance fits his mood that particular day.

Then there are those who will never be happy with proof of citizenship. The Drudge Report seems to be the loudest of those fools -- even mere hours after the birth certificate's release has that website with links questioning the document's authenticity, whether it was doctored by the White House or not and the latest Donald Trump consipracy -- how was Obama accepted in to an Ivy League school?

Hell, George Bush got in to Yale so why is it beyond the realm of possibility that Barack Obama actually attended Harvard? And what's to gain from these frivolous conspiracy theories? If anything, spewing these silly theories further proves that the people spewing this nonsense are uneducated racists who will make the 2012 presidential election one of the most race-fueled and ugly episodes since the era of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Katie Couric is not relevant

Call it a jaded perspective from a younger thirty-something but Katie Couric isn't exactly relevant and shouldn't be a hot topic. As the anchor of the CBS Evening News, Couric simply never hit her stride and hasn't exactly set the ratings on fire -- even in an era where the network nightly news is about as relevant as the American Motor Company. To begin with, Katie Couric was highly overpaid. It's ludicrous for CBS executives to think that a female anchor along the vein of Couric would propel the nightly news back in to relevance. Coming from NBC's Today Show, she didn't exactly have much in the way of journalistic credibility. Sure, I've seen a few decent interviews from Couric but there's still that lingering stigma that all she had done previously was entertainment-type interviews and fluff pieces.

So maybe that's where Couric belongs. The big rumors are that Katie Couric plans on launching her own syndicated daytime talk show in 2012 but a woman in her 50s may not be so wise in taking that route. For better or worse, she may be nearing the end of her rather short tenure of relevance. It's not that women aged 50 and over can't continue to be relevant on television -- Barbara Walter must be in her 80s and while her niche is televised specials featuring celebrities, she does it well and is respected within that area of journalism.

Katie Couric, though, seems to be eager to be the next Oprah. That won't be easy. Oprah's popularity gained steam in the 1980s -- an era where cable television was still in its early years and had yet to begin producing original content that competed with the fare being featured on the big networks. And Oprah is the rare success story. For every Oprah (and there's been only one), there's a Ricki Lake, Gayle King, Tony Danza and Jane Pauley who have burned out or never really rose to any sort of daytime talk prominence. Katie Couric would likely face the same challenges as Lake, King, Danza and Pauley.

While Katie Couric is likable enough and obviously appeals to women (NBC's "Today" rocketed to the top of the morning heap with Couric as co-host), she'd face the challenge of being out of the limelight for as long as a year. In the entertainment industry, that's ratings suicide. It's not like Couric would be passed the daytime queen baton from Oprah either -- there's that one year gap. In that 12 month timeframe, those hundreds of TV stations airing Oprah are going to fill that hour with something else. Whether it's successful or not remains to be seen next fall but Couric would be starting from scratch. Even on the CBS Evening News, she was handed the framework of a program which viewers were familiar with. Sure, the presentation changed somewhat but the content remained the same -- a rundown of the day's news highlights coupled with some feature segments and the schmaltzy stuff that passes as human interest content.

I don't think that, if Katie Couric launches a daytime talk show, she'll have an easy road to ratings success. Sure, she'll likely be able to secure plenty of stations for a show to air on but they might not be the same top-notch stations which Oprah currently airs on. She isn't going to just ride off in to the sunset but after having a taste of being highly overpaid while not bringing much in the way of success, Couric has a tough road in front of her if she does truly leave the anchor chair at CBS.

Should Olivia Munn's Maxim cover be hidden along side Penthouse?

With Fox News jumping on the bandwagon of asking whether or not magazines should be censored, it's pretty obvious that the magazine in question shouldn't be censored. In fact, I think people should have to actually look at the magazine in question before passing judgment.

So there it is. Olivia Munn is, in fact, wearing lacy blue panties that are somewhat transparent but you have to truly be looking to see whether or not Ms. Munn is sporting a landing strip or hardwood floors to notice that her panties are actually transparent to a certain extent. So having a debate over a topic as frivolous as someone's underwear choice is ludicrous. If parents are truly worried about a third-tier magazine that isn't even displayed at checkout stands (you usually have to seek it out in magazine sections) then they need to re-examine their priorities.

For instance, try checking out wha tyour kids are seeing on TV and online. The violence they witness in those two mediums should alarm parents much more than the photo gracing a niche magazine's cover.

What's with Slate's recent obsession with anal sex?

To most people, breaking down sexual acts via a pile of data and charts can truly make a person totally bored with the topic but for whatever reason now, twice in the course of a week, Slate has had articles on anal sex. For a rather intellectual-leaning website, I find that the recurring topic of anal sex is interesting.

Rather than rehash the data breakdown initially reported and the follow-up story analyzing the reasons behind the data, I though I'd ask questions and ponder answers about who is partaking in anal sex.

Historically speaking, anal sex has been rather taboo. It's not considered to be the social norm. Maybe it's because we're a nation of total prudes or maybe it's because those participating in anal sex have kept their sexual acts behind closed doors. Let's face it, even in 2010 people aren't exactly open about their sexual habits. It's not water cooler conversation but sex in all forms is definitely becoming more mainstream. Thank the internet for that and the rabid spread of adult-themed videos which many think is the only reason the internet exists.

Maybe the pervasive spread of technology is the simplest explanation for the uptick in anal sex. Sex isn't a technological activity but the amount of people who view porn and talk openly about it is somewhat interesting. A friend of mine spent the better part of an hour last summer around a camp fire drunkenly giggling as he showed off that his new Droid phone could play video with astounding quality. The more interesting thing about that evening was that nobody was shocked, appalled or disgusted because my generation has grown up since our teens surrounded by the internet and we know full well that while it's a powerful tool for business and communication it's also a portal for pornography. That very pornography is very freeing and liberating for some and I have a feeling that's part of the reason for the increase in the number of people reporting participating in and enjoying anal sex.

But who are these people? Judging by the number of comments on Slate's first story and the profile of the typical Slate reader, educated folks are not only experimenting with but also enjoying anal sex and apparently doing so is a regular occurance. Are they doing so because it's the next logical step when it comes to sexual experimentation or are they engaging in anal sex because of that wealth of pornography that the internet brings in to our homes? But when anal sex reaches that majority threshhold, what comes next? When it's no longer shocking or even interesting to bring up to friends that you and your significant other have been going in through the out door, what comes next? As trends go, the adult film industry is a bit of a trend-setter so I guess we'll have to wait until then to find out.

Weather terrorists make little kids puke

Last night there was a story on the WCCO 10 PM news about a little girl who was so scared of severe weather - even a passing dark cloud during an otherwise sunny day - who would get so worked up that she would vomit. Her fear of weather is so intense that she spends all day every day indoors. It was a rather sad story but I also felt angry while watching it.

I'm not a child psychologist but that level of fear has to come from somewhere. While the parents seemed rather normal, I am always ready to pin the blame on the parents. I'm guessing that one of the parents is a panicky Pete and plops down on the couch (or paces nervously while whiel taking breaks to peer out the window at the clouds in the distance) during severe weather coverage and gets borderline obsessed during the wall-to-wall weather coverage of channels 4, 5, 9 and 11 when the bad weather rolls through the Twin Cities.

I'm not perfect either but we've gone as far as taking our daughter out on the front porch and letting her watch the weather. She shows no reaction whatsoever to house-shaking thunder and the only time she has ever showed a reaction is when the cat jumped in to her crib during a severe storm and woke her up. She muttered the word "cat" to tell us what happened and was back to sleep in a few minutes.

Back to the WCCO story, though. The worst part, and the moment that should have made the main fear culprit instantly obvious to a few hundred thousand WCCO news viewers, was silver fox Don Shelby throwing things to meteorologist Chris Shaffer. He actually said something to the effect of "there's probably going to be more big boomers tomorrow, another severe weather day..." with Shaffer then beginning to whip up the weather fear.

I get it, the severe storms around her have sucked this summer. It's been worse than many previous years but the only thing that seems to get more news coverage is an oil slick covering the Gulf of Mexico or the election of our first black president. For whatever reason, weather equals TV ratings but with obsessive parents who should show their kids early on that even severe weather isn't anything to puke over, the media needs to sometimes take a step back and ask themselves whether or not the weather they are covering is truly as ominous and scary as they make it out to be. It's really a case of them trying too hard all too often.

Rules and rivers, both are in danger

The first rule of blogging is to update said blog on a regular basis. But rules are made to be broken and I love, love, love to break rules. For instance I sometimes speed while driving - usually a whopping 5 miles per hour over the limit on wide open freeways. Yeah, I'm a real badass. I also throw jars in the recycling without washing them - but I'm feeling like less of a badass in that department after DeRusha's Good Question last night.

But back to that first rule of blogging. Being that I'm a total badass, I'm not going to apologize for the past two or three months because shit happens and while I'll say that I wish that said shit had continued indefinitely, it hasn't so here I am back at what I used to do which boils down to me boring a few readers who pass by and find this and writing the occasional, hard-hitting post which connects with a few folks.

Then it hit me, yesterday I saw a blurb somewhere about the nation's most endangered rivers or bodies of water. One name in particular stuck out at me. The Cedar River. Hell, I know the Cedar River. I grew up adjacent to Austin which the Cedar River passes through and bestows a 100 year flood on the city every 8 years or so.

To most folks, the Cedar River is nothing more than a nuisance. It cuts the city in half and, as I said, it floods incessantly. But the increased flooding, I think, is directly linked to its endangered status. Sure, it has flooded numerous times in the past but because of the increased demands on the river upstream from the city of Austin by way of farm drainage, the floods have become infinitely more frequent.

Common sense would say that something needs to be done both about the increased demands placed on the river and its flooding problems within the city of Austin. While the city has bought up hundreds of homes located in what has turned out to be a rather vast flood plain, there is still work to be done. The environment-loving hippie in me says that we need to restore wetlands along the river to slow the flow of water and catch sediment and pollutants from the farmland's runoff but the farm-boy in me says to farm every inch of soil that doesn't blow or wash away. But there is a balance and I've seen it up close on my parent's farm. Realize that some areas aren't meant to be farmed. Just because you own it doesn't mean that it's fit for traditional crop farming. Seed some filter strips along the river and its tributaries and consider cutting a few drainage tiles and letting nature have its way with the low-lying areas which seem far better-suited for ducks rather than corn.

Lastly, get out and appreciate Minnesota or at least the stunning photos from across the state showcased daily at MinnPics.

A penny for my thoughts about the penny

If it wasn't for the radio - yes the radio - I wouldn't have known about the redesign of the penny - or the one cent piece if you're all old-timey. If it weren't for the internet, though, I wouldn't have known just how terrible its new design was.

Which leads me to an actual point. Where do most people get their news? It's been studied and rehashed on an almost daily basis. Newspapers offer up a text and photo-based approach but once a day but to get that particular breed of news in a format you can hold in your hands costs a quarter or two each and every day. Sure, you can get basically the same news as you'd get in print for free on most every newspaper's website but newspaper websites are a pain in the ass to navigate through without using their lousy search functions.

The internet is available, if you don't mind looking over your shoulder, while at work to plenty of office workers. The most accessed time for many news websites in this particular corner of Minnesota is between 11 AM and 1 PM which correlates with lunch time across the different timezones of the United States. But what do you do if you don't want to or can't access the internet for news while at work?

If you're like me, you have a crappy, barely together radio sitting at your desk. My trusty $5.99 earbuds from Menards attached to either it, my iPod or the headphone jack of my computer I keep myself not only entertained/distracted from the outside noise of the office but informed, too. Getting that information/entertainment mix is a bit of work here in the Twin Cities. I can't find a radio station I could tolerate for the course of a workday so I mix it up. I have appointments with certain stations on various parts of the dial but I actually seek out the 4:20-ish news update with Bob Collins on 89.3 The Current. Maybe it's because he has an attitude about the world that matches mine (we're all doomed) or maybe it's because his banter with Mary Lucia is genuine but whatever the case the news he mentions during those few minutes - while not always the biggest headlines - seems almost tailored to my tastes.

And without that newscast and his daily mention - via Lucia's asking - about what's on the News Cut blog, I would have never known about the morons in government with nothing better to do messing with the U.S penny. Screwing with the design of a coin which nobody already gave a damn about is equal to tax forms using a font size 1/2 point smaller than they did previously. Nobody's going to notice! Way to waste money, geniuses! And thank you Bob Collins because without your blog post mentioned on The Current, I would have never known about something most would see as trivial but something I see as wildly maddening.

The only thing more maddening that a new design for the penny is missing an update of MinnPics. Don't miss the kick-ass photos from all over Minnesota including recent name-dropping of Olympic sports. Go now and check it out and subscribe to the RSS feed or I'll write another blog post about curling.

Scott County to give property owners a "shocker"

Normally I wouldn't participate in pointing out unfortunate phrases which, when read by me, have an entirely different meaning but a story about property taxes in the rather cash-rich Twin Cities county escalating for "fake" farm owners caught my eye.

In one extreme case -- a "shocker," in the words of County Auditor Cindy Geis --
annual property taxes will skyrocket from about $5,000 to nearly $40,000.

See, right there, the County Auditor plans on delivering a shocker. If you're unfamiliar with the definition, here it is.

The act of inserting 2 fingers into the vaginal opening (normally the index and
middle fingers), and 1 into the anus (normally the "pinky" finger). This is
usually performed when she is laying back, in the "deep thrust" postion (see
"deep thrust" for more hardcore info). Commonly described a numerous number of
ways, e. g. 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink; two in the grass one in the ass; two
in the slut one in the butt; two in the koot, one in the boot; goin to town with
one in the brown; and many more, this method of sexual gratification is one
sought out by people of all levels.

So, you can see my confusion. Are some land owners going to be penetrated or receive a tax hike. Yeah, I know that the answer is clearly spelled out in the story but it's more fun to let the imagination run wild.

FOX 9 tells us how to blog but fails

Last night I accidentally came across a news story I had actually intended to watch. It was about blogging and how to make money off of it. After watching it on FOX 9 (KMSP) last night I came away with a bit of information but a bit more bewilderment, too. Was the approximately ten-minute segment actually about blogging and what bloggers do to make cash from their writing or was it about a reporter at the TV station entering the blogosphere in an already crowded topic (mommy blogging) and putting entirely too much in the way of resources in to her effort? I am well aware of having a polished launch regardless of who may or may not be paying attention but she hired a professional photographer to take photos of her and her kids. Sure, she probably expensed it out from the station as part of the story but doesn't that cross some sort of line when it benefits you on a personal level?

The longer I watched it, the more I came to realize that Trish Van Pilsum's story was getting annoying. From the repetitive music clip (the same ten or twenty-second clip of a Postal Service song) used to the oh-so-poignant story of her dilemma of finding the proper domain name on Blogger, it was speeding down the road from mildly informative to blatant self-promotion.

I give Trish's little blogging endeavor a few months at best before she gives up on regular updates. If it's anything like most news organization's staff blogs, it will be boring and end up withering on the vine with scant few watching the death. Sure, some media staffers are extremely good at regular blogging. Those, though, are few and far between and they are damn good at what they do and follow the rules of connecting with readers/viewers and have a personality that stands out from the herd. That is where WCCO shines and KMSP fails. It helps a great deal to have that instant name recognition but, again, a personality seals the deal. Sorry Trish Van Pilsum, you have the personality of an apathetic waitress at a restaurant offering nothing but slow service and cold Campbell's condensed soup.

Your story could have been compelling but instead you opened the door to a thousand or so wannabe mommy bloggers who are all geared up to hit the big time today but will realize in two months that blogging ain't that damn easy when you don't have a TV station willing to fork over ten minutes of air during their primetime news to promote their cute little mommy blog. They'll be even more disappointed and frustrated when they find out how much a quality photographer costs as they try to replicate the touch-feely nature of Van Pilsum's blog. A few will stick it out and evolve, finding their niche. I've been doing this almost five years and the first three sucked but I like it. I work in the media world to a certain extent so I know the battles and I witness them from across the hall each and every day and even I haven't cracked that secret code of "what works" in the world of online writing.

But I do know that MinnPics has a somewhat loyal following for some reason. Maybe because it has a ton of quality photos.

Worst video editing job ever

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Note to Fox News: If you want to inflate the number of attendees at a rally using video, at least try to match the clips when it's blatantly obvious that they are from completely different seasons. Nice work by Jon Stewart's crack team of researchers on finding this insane attempt at driving home the message that Fox News is determined to deliver to its legion of viewers.

My hometown is going to hell

I grew up in Austin, MN. Yeah, it sounds like that first statement from an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting but with the headlines on my hometown newspaper's website it is a bit shameful to say that I'm a former Austinite.

Chief stands by department's actions
Mace was used, three were arrested at an illegal immigration rally Saturday in Austin
The Austin police chief said Monday that his officers acted appropriately Saturday when using a chemical spray and making three arrests at a downtown protest.

Austin resident and member of the National Socialist Movement Samuel Johnson organized the illegal immigration protest at the Veterans Memorial in front of the courthouse, but things escalated when a large group of counter protesters — including many from an anti-racism coalition arrived.

Woman charged for allegedly slashing boyfriend
An Austin woman has been charged with felony assault for allegedly slashing her boyfriend with a knife, punching him and biting him Saturday.

Juana Viviana Lopez, 21, is scheduled to appear in court Tuesday. Along with the second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon charge, she faces a felony count of terroristic threats, as well as one lesser charge.

Austin resident pleads guilty to prostitution count
An Austin man charged with hiring a 17-year-old prostitute who later stole his shorts from a motel room pleaded guilty Monday in Mower County.

Carlos Lennin Batista-Quintana, 24, will be sentenced March 18 on one gross misdemeanor count of prostitution for hiring a 16- or 17-year-old.

**************

Okay, that last story about the prostitute is sort of funny. No, not because it's about paying for sex with a school-age teen but because the prostitute, who was doing her business at a motel known for prostitution, stole the guy's shorts. If you can't trust a hooker, who can you trust?

I promise to keep it classy at MinnPics. It's a photographic journey through Minnesota that you should really check out. And yes, I do portray Austin in a positive light there.

List of Minnesota Post Offices to close

WESTERN Northland DUL - WEST DULUTH STAT DULUTH MN
WESTERN Northland MAN-NORTH MANKATO BR MANKATO MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-BROOKLYN PARK BR MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-BUTLER QUARTER ST MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-COMMERCE STA MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-CRYSTAL BR MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-DIAMOND LAKE STA MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-DINKY TOWN STA MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-EDINA BR MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-NOKOMIS STA MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-PLYMOUTH BR MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland MIN-RICHFIELD BR MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland ROC-BEAR CREEK STA ROCHESTER MN
WESTERN Northland ROC-CITY STA ROCHESTER MN
WESTERN Northland STC-CENTRE PLACE STA SAINT CLOUD MN
WESTERN Northland STC-WAITE PARK BR SAINT CLOUD MN
WESTERN Northland STP-COMO STA MINNEAPOLIS MN
WESTERN Northland STP-MENDOTA BR SAINT PAUL MN
WESTERN Northland STP-MN TRANSFER STA SAINT PAUL MN
WESTERN Northland STP-SEEGER SQUARE FST SAINT PAUL MN
WESTERN Northland STP-TWIN CITIES AMF S SAINT PAUL MN
WESTERN Northland STP-UPTOWN STA SAINT PAUL MN

The language and codes used can be a bit confusing but the list itself is fairly cut and dry. I am surprised to a certain extent that most of these branches are in heavily populated areas but I suppose those are the branches of the U.S. Post Office that have been heaviest hit due to more people using e-mail and online bill payment options. I somehow pictured rural branches shutting their doors and Granny Gertrude having to drive 15 miles for stamps in her Cadillac Eldorado down dusty gravel roads, dodging cattle and farm equipment.

Do any of you reading this use these branches? Are they even remotely busy or close in proximity to toher branches which are staying open?

And with all this mundane news, pick your spirits up by visiting MinnPics. Photos always make me smile!

Michael Jackson dead at 50

This sort of caught me off guard. First off Michael Jackson planned a huge set of comeback concerts in London, England later this year and then we flip the TV on just minutes ago and catch the end of a CBS News Special about the life and death of Michael Jackson - the king of pop.

I was never a huge fan of his, probably not even a miniscule fan but there is no denying the fact that he was probably the biggest and most influential name in pop music in the 1980s and maybe the entire 20th century. His dance moves and epic production values set the bar for popular music in that decade. I think his music has also influenced the biggest name in pop music in the 21st century thus far - Justin Timberlake. It's very easy to see and hear similarities. Timberlake's stage show incorporates plenty of dancing, his videos are almost always epic - particularly the video for What Goes Around... - and his falsetto singing voice is the most obvious trait shared by Michael Jackson.

Sure, Jackson led what most will bill as a weird life. From his obviously endless rounds of plastic surgery that transformed his face from normal to freakish and the accusations of child molestation at his child-like paradise of Neverland Ranch in California, he was, to put it kindly, eccentric.

Whatever the case, he inspired a generation and marked a turning point in music. From a child in his family's group, The Jackson Five, it as obvious that he was the star. He died tonight in a Los Angeles hospital of cardiac arrest at the age of 50.

View his video for Thriller here.

The stupidity of beauty pageants

Is she really as stupid as she seemed? Does Miss California give beauty pageants (yes, Miss USA is a beauty, not scholarship, pageant) a bad name. Does she give the USA a bad name as she could have been the U.S. representative in the pageant nobody watches - the Miss Universe pageant.

It's for reasons like this that I hate pageants. These women/girls/brain-dead bimbos lack basic conversational skills that will eventually lead them down a road to acting in b-movies or cheap porn. And on that note, who the hell buys porn any more? Isn't that why the internet was invented? Communicating and sharing knowledge was just sort of an accident.

Oh well, at least the whole topic of gay marriage has given Perez Hilton a second fifteen minutes of undeserved fame.

Honest questions about pirates

What the fuck is the deal with the insane resurgence of pirates? The only problem is that these guys aren't "cool" pirates. The Somali pirates are douchier versions of the cool pirates I am secretly fascinated with. Somalis pirates probably don't scream snappy catch-phrases like "arrrrr" or "avast ye mateys". Real pirates have snappy but raggedy clothes, planks for walking and swords. Hell, some even have parrots and real pirates know how to swing on ropes in a fashionable manner.



These Somali priates have fucking gasoline powered, beaten down fishing boats like we'd see in our very own Minnesota lakes. Real pirates (in my mind) have wooded ships with towering sails. Sure, it all sounds a bit like Pirates of the Caribbean but dammit, the pirates of 2009 are straight up dicks and really have no business even being referred to as pirates. Ship hijackers maybe, but definitely not pirates.

The Somali ship hijackers are the absolute bottom rung of society. I am sure there are millions of decent Somalis and I know for a fact that tens of thousands of Somalis live right here in Minnesota and work hard to make their lives here in the U.S.A. The ship hijackers off the Somali coast deserve a slow and painful death and if their country is in such poor financial shape they need to find a legitimate way to dig themselves out of the quagmire they are in. Robbing others puts these Somalis on par with the CEOs of the enormous failing banks within our borders. I like to think that the Somalis are at least a bit above those who sunk our own country's financial fortunes.

Pirates are strangely absent from MinnPics but that doesn't mean that the photos aren't excellent.

The Associated Press ignorant of technology

If you don't want to pay attention to this story, don't. However, the Associated Press - the overlords of all things daily newspaper content - have slit their throats just a bit further.

Earlier this week, the Associated Press sent a cease and desist order to a Tennessee radio station, an Associated Press member, for embedding AP videos on their website. (Even worse, the AP didn't even know they had a YouTube channel)

The radio station's argument is very clear and they are in the right. If the AP is so stuck in the stone-age that they don't want their videos spread across the web and can't figure out how to disable the embed code on YouTube, maybe this archaic organization has met its endpoint.