Online gems

Every day, millions of professionally- and self-published items hit the internet and today I stumbled across two...

The first is from my old hometown's newspaper...

A 34-year-old Austin man was arrested Sunday for allegedly attacking another man with a chair leg.

The second one comes from a Craigslist ad...
sew my stupid ugly clothes back together (minneapolis, uptown)
i wear a lot of stupid ugly clothes. i am very particular about the stupid way that i dress, so when something like a pair of pants has a hole in the crotch, i am devastated. that being said, i am pretty devastated over a few pairs of pants. usually i have my mom sew them, but she lives out in bloomington and honestly, i feel she half-asses the job because she thinks i dress like her father did in the 1970s. she has a track record of (possibly intentionally) ruining my clothes, but i like to assume it is an accident because i dont like imagining that my mom is capable of being all cunning and mean.

i also have a shirt that needs a bit of alteration and a pair of pants that could use some shortening for my gnome-like legs.

if you can aid in this task, i will pay you money or take you to a local Chuck E. Cheese where you can play skee-ball while i cry about my childhood. you don't even have to do that good job a job - just make sure they stay together.

sincerely yours,
crotchhole jackson

Location: minneapolis, uptown
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: tell me how much you want and i'll tell you how much i want to give you. we will work out a number using a sophisticated spreadsheet my roommate can design because he's a dork.

Even more gems reside at MinnPics. I am sure something good was photographed this past cool weekend and I'll share it with you today!