"Wow it smells in here. I must be in the wrong restroom."
As I opened the door, I peeked around it expecting to see a graphical depiction of an elephant with the phrase "ELEPHANT" below it. Nope, it says "MEN". I'm apparently in the correct place.
"This just isn't right. There are two cans of Oust air sanitizer here, there's no reason for it to smell this terrible. It's a hate crime for any place inhabited by civilized humans to smell this bad. Did someone tape a dead fish under the counter?"
I decided to crouch down and verify the potential rotting seafood scenario. It didn't pan out.
"My skin is beginning to itch. This has to be some sort of insidious chemical attack. What kind of bastard would carry out a chemical attack on a restroom in a suburban office building?"
I investigated as much as one can investigate a 7 foot square room and found nothing out of the ordinary that would even lead one to believe that a chemical attack was underway.
"Someone must have upper-deckered in here."
Afraid to pop the cover off of the toilet tank, I hurriedly went about my business and wondered to myself, "who used the restroom before me?"
MinnPics is back after a warm Minnesota weekend with another week of stunning photos from all corners of the state.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Project Runway sends the Minnesotan home
I won't say that I've watched the entire season of "Project Runway" on Lifetime because I haven't. I have, however, watched the final fifteen minutes or so of each episode because it always amazes me who gets "aufed" by Heidi Klum and her band of fashionistas.
Chris Straub, or Shakopee as I call him (because he's from Shakopee, MN - represent!) did amazingly well early in the competition. He actually won the first competition and I was excited to see that someone from Minnesota - especially the suburbs - was recognized for their creative skills. Then, as the series went on, Straub seemed to be strung along. His work wasn't terrible but the judges consistently billed it as such but kept him in the competition. It seemed almost mean for Heidi Klum and her band of fashion divas to keep Shakopee's Chris Straub on the show as they kept berating his designs. He was a near-permanent fixture in the show's bottom two or three designers.
I hoped that Straub was being strung along for a good reason. Hopefully they realized that he had immense potential. I rarely saw huge negatives in Straub's designs but maybe I'm just a homer who hates seeing the home team lose.
Then last night, on the final episode before "Project Runway's" big Bryant Park Fashion Week finale, Chris Straub was eliminated. The judges sent two designers packing leaving three young women to duke it out in New York City on next week's episode. So for many months now Shakopee's home town deisgner has been working away in the basement of his townhome - which us graphic designers in my office have determined the general location of - creating new fashion trends on his own. The difference is that he now has a significant amount of national television exposure to help his career. Something tells me that he'll be alright.
If you are fond of Minnesotans and all things Minnesota, check out MinnPics to tour Minnesota via photographs.
Chris Straub, or Shakopee as I call him (because he's from Shakopee, MN - represent!) did amazingly well early in the competition. He actually won the first competition and I was excited to see that someone from Minnesota - especially the suburbs - was recognized for their creative skills. Then, as the series went on, Straub seemed to be strung along. His work wasn't terrible but the judges consistently billed it as such but kept him in the competition. It seemed almost mean for Heidi Klum and her band of fashion divas to keep Shakopee's Chris Straub on the show as they kept berating his designs. He was a near-permanent fixture in the show's bottom two or three designers.
I hoped that Straub was being strung along for a good reason. Hopefully they realized that he had immense potential. I rarely saw huge negatives in Straub's designs but maybe I'm just a homer who hates seeing the home team lose.
Then last night, on the final episode before "Project Runway's" big Bryant Park Fashion Week finale, Chris Straub was eliminated. The judges sent two designers packing leaving three young women to duke it out in New York City on next week's episode. So for many months now Shakopee's home town deisgner has been working away in the basement of his townhome - which us graphic designers in my office have determined the general location of - creating new fashion trends on his own. The difference is that he now has a significant amount of national television exposure to help his career. Something tells me that he'll be alright.
If you are fond of Minnesotans and all things Minnesota, check out MinnPics to tour Minnesota via photographs.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Jails vs. Schools: which one benefits society?
Back in my old hometown of Austin, MN the school levy referendum failed. It would have raised taxes $84/yr on a $100,000 home. To many, any additional money paid in taxes is too much but this is the same city that approved the construction of a $30,000,000 jail/justice center shared by the city and county. In contrast, the school levy referendum would have provided the school district with just over $1,000,000/yr. in additional operating funds.
Which of the two - schools or a jail - benefits society more in the long run? Schools prepare the next generation for jobs. Those buildings need to be stocked with equipment and teachers who are at the top of their game - they need to be of the highest quality and the best of the best. Schools serve the children of everyone and everyone who has ever reached the age of five has benefitted from schools - the majority benefitting from public schools which are taxpayer funded.
Then there are jails. They are filled with people who didn't see the value or need to abide by our city, state or nation's laws. They are arrested, booked and placed in jail. Some go to trial while many serve their time and consider it their debt to society for doing wrong. In either case, they stay in these buildings on the taxpayer's dime. I see no reason why a jail needs to provide anything beyond the most basic of necessities. The simple fact that jails have televisions anywhere inside them is nothing short of excessive to me. I don't care if the televisions are for employees, visitors, stray cats or those who are locked up - a television is a luxury and is unnecessary if you are being punished for a crime. And housing law breakers in a $30,000,000 building is so far beyond excessive that I can't even think of words for it.
Why do we feel the need to spend $30,000,000 on a building to house criminals when there are millions and millions of square feet of warehouse and commercial space sitting vacant? Is our government so spend happy that even those who many see as the bottom rung of society need a special building to live in at the expense of others? How many cities and counties require their inmates to actually work doing something while they serve their time? I know for certain that in Scott County (Minnesota) the inmates spend every waking hour indoors at the jail. To some the simple fact that they are not allowed outdoors adds to the punishment but I feel that working to pay your debt to society builds more character and could actually lead to a better place for them down the road than sitting around for days on end doing little to nothing.
Yes, inmates, prisoners, criminals - whatever you choose to call them - sit in relative luxury doing nothing while our schools who are asking for far, far less in the way of operating funds have to do without. They do without modern computers and they do without the best teachers because the best teachers realize that they can make more money in private schools.
So, which one - jails or schools - would you rather have your tax dollars spent on?
After you ponder that question, check out the equally compelling MinnPics and take a photographic journey through Minnesota.
Which of the two - schools or a jail - benefits society more in the long run? Schools prepare the next generation for jobs. Those buildings need to be stocked with equipment and teachers who are at the top of their game - they need to be of the highest quality and the best of the best. Schools serve the children of everyone and everyone who has ever reached the age of five has benefitted from schools - the majority benefitting from public schools which are taxpayer funded.
Then there are jails. They are filled with people who didn't see the value or need to abide by our city, state or nation's laws. They are arrested, booked and placed in jail. Some go to trial while many serve their time and consider it their debt to society for doing wrong. In either case, they stay in these buildings on the taxpayer's dime. I see no reason why a jail needs to provide anything beyond the most basic of necessities. The simple fact that jails have televisions anywhere inside them is nothing short of excessive to me. I don't care if the televisions are for employees, visitors, stray cats or those who are locked up - a television is a luxury and is unnecessary if you are being punished for a crime. And housing law breakers in a $30,000,000 building is so far beyond excessive that I can't even think of words for it.
Why do we feel the need to spend $30,000,000 on a building to house criminals when there are millions and millions of square feet of warehouse and commercial space sitting vacant? Is our government so spend happy that even those who many see as the bottom rung of society need a special building to live in at the expense of others? How many cities and counties require their inmates to actually work doing something while they serve their time? I know for certain that in Scott County (Minnesota) the inmates spend every waking hour indoors at the jail. To some the simple fact that they are not allowed outdoors adds to the punishment but I feel that working to pay your debt to society builds more character and could actually lead to a better place for them down the road than sitting around for days on end doing little to nothing.
Yes, inmates, prisoners, criminals - whatever you choose to call them - sit in relative luxury doing nothing while our schools who are asking for far, far less in the way of operating funds have to do without. They do without modern computers and they do without the best teachers because the best teachers realize that they can make more money in private schools.
So, which one - jails or schools - would you rather have your tax dollars spent on?
After you ponder that question, check out the equally compelling MinnPics and take a photographic journey through Minnesota.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Christmas comes AFTER Thanksgiving
It's apparently Christmas. I found this out yesterday as I sprinted through the local Target store for a bag of cat food. I realized it was Christmas yesterday, November 2nd, because Christmas had relentlessly vomited across from the general area of the pet supplies. Christmas had vomited so much, in fact, that it was running in to the area where the Halloween candy and remaining costumes had been relegated to. I knew it was coming because after the back-to-school supplies disappeared in the second week of September a back-wall aisle popped up entirely full of Christmas goods.
Yes, Christmas had in fact been lurking inside the walls of Target since early September and I hate that.
It's not that I hate Christmas. Entirely the opposite, in fact. I love Christmas. My house is that house during the month of December. I deck it out classily in white Christmas lights and a Santa's Village scene because it makes kids smile and I don't mind freezing my ass off dragging all of that stuff out from the basement each year. I just don't display all of my Santa-riffic goodnes suntil an appropriate time. The day after Thanksgiving. In case retailers and shoppers everywhere have forgotten, Thanksgiving celebrates the day that the pilgrims and Native Americans sat down and shared a bountiful meal in celebration of the year's harvest. We celebrate it on the final Thursday of November. Then the next day we feverishly plow full-on in to Christmas mere hours later but at least Thanksgiving gets its moment in the spotlight.
Well, at least it used to. I can understand and even tolerate retailers having Christmas displays up shortly after Halloween. It's big business and those advertising dollars that retailers spend keep my bills paid. But if we can find time to recognize such stupid crap as Administrative Professionals Day then Thanksgiving deserves its own space and time without being whored up by the commercialism that is Christmas.
That means no Christmas music - no matter what - before Thanksgiving dinner is over.
Don't turn your Christmas lights on until the day after Thanksgiving.
Decorate the inside of your house whenever you damn well please but be aware that others will ridicule you for having garland and tinsel adorning your home on November 10th.
Keep indoor Christmas decor away from windows visible from outdoors until after Thanksgiving.
Turn off outdoor and dismantle indoor Christmas displays by January 2nd. A grace period of three days is available if you partied like it was 1999 on New Year's Eve.
All I'm saying is that holidays don't overlap. Keep them separate and if KOOL 108 or Lite FM start spinning Christmas music this year before Thanksgiving is over I am going to drive to their respective studios (closets with a computer inside) and smash that Christmas computer into tiny bits fit for decorating the station's Christmas tree.
I also promise to keep MinnPics seasonally appropriate. The photos of Minnesota will always be pleasant and compelling and rarely induce anger.
Yes, Christmas had in fact been lurking inside the walls of Target since early September and I hate that.
It's not that I hate Christmas. Entirely the opposite, in fact. I love Christmas. My house is that house during the month of December. I deck it out classily in white Christmas lights and a Santa's Village scene because it makes kids smile and I don't mind freezing my ass off dragging all of that stuff out from the basement each year. I just don't display all of my Santa-riffic goodnes suntil an appropriate time. The day after Thanksgiving. In case retailers and shoppers everywhere have forgotten, Thanksgiving celebrates the day that the pilgrims and Native Americans sat down and shared a bountiful meal in celebration of the year's harvest. We celebrate it on the final Thursday of November. Then the next day we feverishly plow full-on in to Christmas mere hours later but at least Thanksgiving gets its moment in the spotlight.
Well, at least it used to. I can understand and even tolerate retailers having Christmas displays up shortly after Halloween. It's big business and those advertising dollars that retailers spend keep my bills paid. But if we can find time to recognize such stupid crap as Administrative Professionals Day then Thanksgiving deserves its own space and time without being whored up by the commercialism that is Christmas.
That means no Christmas music - no matter what - before Thanksgiving dinner is over.
Don't turn your Christmas lights on until the day after Thanksgiving.
Decorate the inside of your house whenever you damn well please but be aware that others will ridicule you for having garland and tinsel adorning your home on November 10th.
Keep indoor Christmas decor away from windows visible from outdoors until after Thanksgiving.
Turn off outdoor and dismantle indoor Christmas displays by January 2nd. A grace period of three days is available if you partied like it was 1999 on New Year's Eve.
All I'm saying is that holidays don't overlap. Keep them separate and if KOOL 108 or Lite FM start spinning Christmas music this year before Thanksgiving is over I am going to drive to their respective studios (closets with a computer inside) and smash that Christmas computer into tiny bits fit for decorating the station's Christmas tree.
I also promise to keep MinnPics seasonally appropriate. The photos of Minnesota will always be pleasant and compelling and rarely induce anger.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Fitness clubs as a status symbol
Everyone has some awareness about status symbols. We see the douchebag sporting personalized license plates driving a Mercedes Benz fast enough to both get noticed and pulled over. We see someone wearing a $300 t-shirt but only because they casually mention its cost in conversation at a louder-than-normal volume. Then there are less obvious status symbols. Take gyms and fitness centers for example.
In the past five years the Twin Cities area has experienced a huge boom in fitness clubs. The original full-service gym - Northwest Athletic Club - is a piece of history. It's been replaced by the far more prestigious Lifetime Fitness Club. Around these parts Lifetime is sort of the gold standard for full-service gyms. Older stalwarts such as Gold's Gym are trying to make inroads but they are facing the Rainbow Foods situation - it's difficult to change habits of Minnesotans and Gold's Gym has that image of roided up weightlifters thanks to t-shirts from the 1980s - Lifetime Fitness is the status symbol (to me). Any place with monthly dues over $100 for one person is considered as a luxury and a status symbol by your's truly.
Of course there are a ton of other options like Anytime Fitness and Snap Fitness. A membership there is $30-$40/mo. It's not lofty but it's still not the cheapest. However, I'm willing to bet that the equipment at these strip mall fitness clubs is at least similar to the equipment found by the status symbol seekers who populate Lifetime Fitness. The cheapest that I've seen in the fitness club game is a strip mall outlet in Excelsior or Shorewood - somewhere along Highway 7 on the south shore - advertising $9/month memberships. That, for me, is the price where it negates having your own elliptical trainer taking up precious space in your basement or home office.
The final piece of the fitness game puzzle is the community aspect. Most cities have a community center or YMCA. The community centers are generally rather cheap for monthly memberships. The thing they lack is exclusivity. The memberships are affordable enough that Joe and Jane Average can afford a family membership. Their 2.5 kids are busy with swimming lessons and they are going to ride home together in their 2002 Dodge Caravan minivan. The only difference is that they live just a block away from Doug Douchebag and his 2009 Mercedes Benz. So who's the one living life with a bunch of status symbols?
I, for one, am happy with the occasional run through town and time training on my Wii Fit and driving one of our two Toyotas.
I'm also happy curating MinnPics. The amount of amazing photography from Minnesotans is shocking and deserving of your attention. Check it out today.
In the past five years the Twin Cities area has experienced a huge boom in fitness clubs. The original full-service gym - Northwest Athletic Club - is a piece of history. It's been replaced by the far more prestigious Lifetime Fitness Club. Around these parts Lifetime is sort of the gold standard for full-service gyms. Older stalwarts such as Gold's Gym are trying to make inroads but they are facing the Rainbow Foods situation - it's difficult to change habits of Minnesotans and Gold's Gym has that image of roided up weightlifters thanks to t-shirts from the 1980s - Lifetime Fitness is the status symbol (to me). Any place with monthly dues over $100 for one person is considered as a luxury and a status symbol by your's truly.
Of course there are a ton of other options like Anytime Fitness and Snap Fitness. A membership there is $30-$40/mo. It's not lofty but it's still not the cheapest. However, I'm willing to bet that the equipment at these strip mall fitness clubs is at least similar to the equipment found by the status symbol seekers who populate Lifetime Fitness. The cheapest that I've seen in the fitness club game is a strip mall outlet in Excelsior or Shorewood - somewhere along Highway 7 on the south shore - advertising $9/month memberships. That, for me, is the price where it negates having your own elliptical trainer taking up precious space in your basement or home office.
The final piece of the fitness game puzzle is the community aspect. Most cities have a community center or YMCA. The community centers are generally rather cheap for monthly memberships. The thing they lack is exclusivity. The memberships are affordable enough that Joe and Jane Average can afford a family membership. Their 2.5 kids are busy with swimming lessons and they are going to ride home together in their 2002 Dodge Caravan minivan. The only difference is that they live just a block away from Doug Douchebag and his 2009 Mercedes Benz. So who's the one living life with a bunch of status symbols?
I, for one, am happy with the occasional run through town and time training on my Wii Fit and driving one of our two Toyotas.
I'm also happy curating MinnPics. The amount of amazing photography from Minnesotans is shocking and deserving of your attention. Check it out today.
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