Senator Al DeKruif, bigot and hypocrite

Below is a letter I sent to my Minnesota state senator on May 12, 2011 when I was first extremely riled up at the proposal to place a constitutional ban to outlaw gay marriage on the ballot for the 2012 election. I've never been one to be happy with politics but to see a question regarding the rights of a minority taken up by the increasingly backwards thinking Minnesota GOP makes me nothing short of angry.

Dear Senator DeKruif,

I am taking time to write to you today regarding your recent vote on the bill that places a constitutional question on the 2012 ballot banning same-sex marriage.

I find it appalling that the Minnesota Senate, yourself included, feel it to be necessary to propose a constitutional amendment for an act -- same-sex marriage, civil unions, etc. -- which itself is already not legally recognized in the state of Minnesota. It boggles my mind that a fellow citizen of outstate Minnesota would feel that such an amendment is necessary in a state which seems to pride itself on being forward thinking and accepting of our neighbors. Even voting to allow such a proposal to move forward seems to be both backward thinking and borderline bigoted in nature.

In a time when our state is facing a fiscal crisis, high unemployment, drastic cuts to education and the continuing extinction of the middle class, I am forced to wonder what the logic is behind such a divisive bill being introduced -- much less allowed to proceed forward and land in the hands of voters. Where are the priorities? Is this act simply pandering to the hard core conservative base? Is it about protecting the sanctity of marriage -- so sacred that approximately 50% of "traditional" marriages end in divorce? This sort of rubbish is what gives elected officials like yourself a bad name and makes me wonder what the priorities of government truly are. Shouldn't we be protecting the rights of individuals instead of ensuring that the future rights of a minority of Minnesotans are never allowed to see the light of day?

I hope that further issues such as this one are swiftly shot down in favor of actually fixing our state's shortcomings in education, transit and infrastructure. Again, a potential constitutional amendment prohibiting an act which is already not recognized is redundant and sets our state -- a culturally progressive shining star of the country -- back a number of decades.

Thank you for your time,

[Contact Information redacted]

Even more disgusting to me is that nine days has passed without so much as an automated reply acknowledging the receipt of my letter by a man whose wages my taxes pay. I guess that's what happens when a liar who ran on a platform of job creation votes to allow a question on the ballot which only further strips the rights of a few. Maybe Minnesota State Senator Al DeKruif can add hypocrite to his platform as well.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are so done

From bodybuilder to actor to governor to divorcee -- that's the string of landmarks for Austrian import Arnold Schwarzenegger who is splitting from his Kennedy-related Maria Shriver. What is more shocking that the divorce of a relative power couple living in California is the factt hat they were married for a whopping 25 years.

I'm not a fan of either of the two -- Arnold Schwarzenegger is only a borderline OK actor and while he definitely hasn't taken himself too seriously (remember "Twins"?) he seems to have almost no direction in his life as of late. A venture in to politics from an immigrant actor just screams "look at me -- look at what I'm doing now!" He had nowhere else he could have gone after being governor due to the fact that he's an immigrant. His movie career is basically done unless the "Terminator" franchise comes back for another installment. And now with his divorce looming, his future seems to be bleak.

Maria Shriver, too, seems to come to the end of her road in the public eye. I remember her having some bit reporting role for NBC about 20 years ago and that alone was kind of the pinnacle of her career. What has she done since then? I'm sure she was involved in some charitable work along the way because what else do Kennedy heirs do after their time in the limelight has faded? But what will she do now? Will she end up -- jacked-up face and all -- anchoring the 10 PM Saturday evening news on the sixth-rated TV station in Sacramento, California? Will she marry tattooed Nazi Jesse James and take up a career in the adult film industry? Doubtful on both accounts. She'll probably just go away like every has-been should which would be refreshing to see.

The best part about this non-story is that it will fade in a day and we can get back to talking about how much of a spoiled brat Justin Bieber is and hearing endless ploys for the taxpayers of Minnesota to fund a Vikings stadium.

The best argument ever for gay marriage

After last week's elections across the country, rumors are swirling that the new Republican majority's number one priority is the move forward on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. That's their number one priority? Never mind that millions of people are losing their homes. Forget that the nation's infrastructure is falling apart. Let's not even mention that America is teetering on the brink of lising its superpower status because we've shipped all of our manufacturing and technical jobs overseas but let's ban that gay marriage because it makes a few old white guys uncomfortable -- possibly uncomfortable about their own closeted homosexual feelings. But, hey, let's take away something from a few that's widely accepted for the majority. Let's make an unfortunately discriminated few feel even less accepted. Yeah, that's the ticket.

The dumbasses who want to ban gay marriage are forgetting one vastly important thing. Weddings are a huge expenditure and the more you encourage weddings of any sort, the more the economy as a whole benefits. Think of weddings as the best for of economic stimulus ever. It all starts with the wedding license. That expenditure -- in the grand scheme of things -- is minimal but it lines the goverment coffers and keeps government employees working. That's about $35. The next step is lining up a venue for the ceremony. Some of thsoe venues are free but some cost money. More money in to the economy there. Then you need to clothe the wedding party. Should it be guys or gals, those clothes cost money. A cheap tux costs just over a hundred dollars to rent and a cheap bridesmaid dress runs a minimum of $150. Multiply that by the number in the wedding party and you've got even more economic stimulus happening. But it doesn't stop there. You may employ a wedding planner, you'll need those little bottles of bubbles to blow as the happy couple runs to their vehicle of choice which, if it's a limousine or horse-drawn carriage, is another expenditure which keeps businesses running and people employed. And don't forget about the releasing of doves. Another excellent economic stimulus.

Then, of course, is the wedding reception. Some people go small but others go big. You have to rent a venue, feed the sometimes hundreds of guests and provide entertainment. The reception can run from $5000-$10000 dollars on the low end. That amount of spending is nothing to sneeze at.

You'll also want to chronicle the events of the day so you'll need aphotographer and a decent photographer can run $1000-$10000. But the future is video and the future is now. Better get a videographer to remember the day. Look at that -- even more money paid out.

It's not just the happy couple spending money, guests at the wedding traditionally bring gifts. Figure that each couple attending the wedding will spend $50-$100 on a gift for the happy couple. Many of these guests are also from out of town so they'll need a hotel for a night or two. That's easily $100 per night.

But we aren't done yet. Nobody gets married without planning a honeymoon. Plane tickets to someplace fun or romantic, a hotel for about a week and dining and activities could run about $3000 on the low end.

All told, by my rudimentary math, a wedding stimulates the economy to the tune of $85,000. My math may not be exactly accurate but you get the picture. Weddings are big money and banning gay marriage or whatever you politically correct folks want to call it is flat out stupid. Weddings = economic stimulus and if the new Republican majority of elected representatives wants to ban gay marriage they obviously hate America and want our country to fail.

April Fools of years gone by

Blah, blah, blah. Today's April 1st. More commonly known as April Fools Day. It's some sort of free pass where you can play lame practical jokes on your boss and co-workers. You can call your wife, screaming, and tell her that you were just in a terrible accident and veer off into a bunch of jibberish and convince her that you're dying. You know, fun shit like that.

I should know because one year I convinced my old lady that I had some sort of terrible infection, apologized profusely, and asked her what it meant if it burned when I peed and my pee smelled like rotten ham. She didn't laugh.

I also, a few years ago, busted out that key command in Microsoft Windows that rotates the screen. My boss arrived to find the display on her monitor upside down. A year before that I stole the arms from her chair. Another year I taped down the hang-up button (or whatever it's called) on her phone so when she picked it up to retrieve her messages there was no dial tone.

But I'm beyond that. I even pulled a few tricks here on my blog including me angrily quitting blogging, discussed how we'd soon be homeless, had people fire off guesses about a huge November event and even our impending divorce. (Wow, my pranks are rather mean) But not this year.

This yea is all business as usual everywhere including my photo blog - MinnPics. Just be a good citizen and spread the word.