Ah shit, we're all screwed. Forget about H1N1, R2D2, AC/DC and every other deadly combination consisting of four characters. The real deal to worry yourself sick about this winter is - wait for it - a shortage of rather bland frozen waffles.
Yes, our country is so dependent on pre-packaged, frozen crap that Kellogg's grand screw-up at a couple manufacturing plants has people in certain locales (the nation's Walmarts) hoarding Eggo frozen waffles - if these poor schmucks can get their hands on those taste-packed yellow boxes.
When I first heard of the supposed Eggo shortage yesterday, I thought it was just hype blown way out of proportion by MPR's Bob Collins simply to get a reaction out of yours truly. Well, it didn't work but then I saw more mention of it today on such reputable news sources as the Southern Illinois Catholic blog and Meck Leck (another blog) so now I'm afraid - very afraid.
What the hell will people eat for breakfast without their ultra-portable toastable Eggo waffles?
Well folks, here's a few ideas. You could have cereal, toaster strudels, Pop Tarts, a banana, an apple, toast, a crepe, pancakes, a croissant, a bagel, a biscuit or a fruit smoothie. See, stop your damn fretting about a shortage of Eggo frozen waffles and if waffles are a staple of your diet, may I suggest ponying up a few bucks and investing in a waffle iron. In the end you'll actually save money and discover a wide world of flavor possibilities. See, it really isn't worth pissing your pants over - they're just waffles...
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